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Do Fictional Stories Work to Pull in Readers? ASK MIKE

By Michael Stelzner

Does it make sense to begin a white paper or other important marketing document with a short story to pull in readers?

This very question came to me recently from Kippy:

I am writing a white paper about a technology/system for ensuring high quality inspection of integrated circuits (chips) used in the automotive industry.

I would like to use a “stage setting” introduction, one short paragraph in length, to quickly pull in my readers and emphasize the human safety factors involved.

I know my in-house reviewers (who are all “dry,” non-nonsense engineers) are going to ask me to delete it. I’d like your opinion as to this approach’s effectiveness in white papers.

Below is the first draft of the intro paragraph to give you an idea of what I’m thinking of using.

“Imagine. You are driving home alone after a late meeting. It’s dark and the roads are deserted. Suddenly a cat darts across the road, escaping a pursuing German Shepard. You instinctively hit the brakes hard. Thankfully your car is equipped with an anti-lock braking system (ABS) that keeps you from skidding out of control. Thankfully it activated. Thankfully you will be home with your loved ones in a few minutes.”

Hi Kippy;

Thanks for your question!

Unfortunately, I have to side with your in-house reviewers.

Remember that you do not have a captive audience with a white paper.

Unlike a presentation to an auditorium full of people, white papers are documents that can have very high abandonment rates.

While your intention of engaging the readers right away is the right idea, your approach is not.

Realize you have mere seconds to grab people’s attention.

If they cannot relate with what you write in the opening paragraphs, the most important part of the paper will never make contact with those that matter.

An alternative approach would be focus on the needs of the reader of the paper.

This is most likely someone in the R&D department of an auto manufacturer.

Perhaps appealing to their need to (a) keep up with the competition on safety features, (b) improve driver safety, (c) fill in the blank…

Identify the problems or needs of the reader as the first priority. Save the story for another marketing program.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, June 7th, 2007 at 5:17 am and is filed under Writing White Papers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

  • Hi Ed - Thanks for stopping bye! Appreciate your comments. - Mike
  • White papers, to me, are about providing information rather than a direct sell. Stories like the one desceibed above seem to be designed to make an emotional appeal, which seems to sales-y to me.
  • Hi Carrie;

    The concept of white papers as articles on steroids is actually not true.

    I like to describe white papers as combinations of articles and brochures.

    They take the informative information of articles and add the persuasive elements of white papers.

    Because they are designed to help people make decisions and not read as entertainment, it is important to quickly state your case and not bore readers.

    So the use of story in the opening paragraphs should be used with caution.

    You do need a hook, but it is often not a story. Save those for case studies.

    Mike
  • I always liked articles that start with a brief anecdote or story, as they do help engage the reader, so maybe this approach would work well for a white paper, which is an article "on steroids" as I've seen it explained. I'm not a white paper expert, having written only one so far, but it would stand to reason that since white papers can be lengthy and are probably a similar journalistic style, an opening paragraph that pops somehow might engage the reader better. Also, what if you are writing for writers, ie. an audience of journalists, creative writers (fiction) etc. This would certainly engage them since this is their bread and butter and would provide a "hook." I once attended a writing class where the teacher spent half an hour reciting a narrative about being stuck in a snowstorm and a variety of events that unfolded after that. At the end, she announced that there had never been a snowstorm at all! Great dramatic license, and it made me go back and read over the beginning repeatedly!
  • Katie;

    White papers are more formal (not necessarily technical).

    Not sure I would suggest this opening story for any white paper.

    It goes back to what I said about not having a captive audience.
  • I'd have to agree with that for the most part, as white papers are considered a more technical form or writing. It could be possible for a white paper on something to do with entertainment. You think?
  • Hi Katie;

    While agree that a good story must have a broad acceptance, I do not think they work well as the opening paragraphs of a white paper.

    Do you agree?
  • Hi Mike,
    The thing about fictional short stories is that when writing one you have to have a universal meaning or message that every reader can relate to. The story brings your reader in, allowing them to be the character and in turn need the solution you offer, visualizing the solution you're offering actually helping them. All that aside it can make boring sales copy pop.
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