Oh, That First Line!
By Jonathan KantorWhile the introduction page is the most important part of the entire white paper, the first line of that introduction has to be it’s most important element.
Think about the pressure placed on the first line!
You not only have to capture the reader’s attention, succinctly summarize the overarching situation using a limited number of select words, and ensure that it’s grammatically correct.
Also, since we live in a society where first impressions seem to be extremely important because of a lack of time and patience, if you blow the first line, the chances that the reader will be motivated to read the rest of the white paper may be reduced.
Therefore, making the first line work requires time, planning, creativity, and concentration.
With so much emphasis on the first line, I decided to take a look at the first line of two of the highest scoring white papers I have reviewed as part of my Friday, “White Light Review” series. This line was taken from a white paper produced by Intelliseek, entitled “Consumer-Generated Media 101″:
“Consumer-Generated Media (GCM) describes a variety of new sources of online information that are created, initiated, circulated and used by consumers intent on each other about products, brands, services, personalities and issues”.
On the other extreme is the opening line from another highly rated white paper from IDC entitled, “The Expanding Digitial Universe“:
“The airwaves, telephone circuits, and computer cables are buzzing.”
One is very long the other very short. This just goes to show that there are more than one way to write an opening line that will capture the readers attention.
Which type of first line do you prefer to read, short or long? Does it sway your opinion of the white paper if it is poorly written?
About This Guest Blogger: Jonathan Kantor is a 23-year tech industry veteran and the founder of The White Paper Pundit, a blog dedicated to business and technical white papers.
(2 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5)
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May 14th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
I guess it depends on the subject of the white paper. If it is a specific and extremely technical subject, I would expect a longer first sentence, but otherwise I guess I’d prefer a shorter first line to get to the heart of the matter as quick as possible. I’d throw it away and never read it if it were poorly written, maybe because I’m such a grammar nag, but also because I don’t have time to read crap and wouldn’t want to if I did have the time. I read to learn most of the time and if something is poorly written, it suggests the author may not be an authority and not so smart after all.
May 14th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Hi Katie,
Yes, it’s true that the first line in a technical white paper is very different from the first line in a business white paper.
In either case it seems that a lot is resting on that first line. If a poor impression is made, it doesn’t bode very well for reader interest in the rest of the paper.
Jonathan
May 14th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Couldn’t agree more. The first line sets the tone for the rest of the piece. Great point.